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Almost as though the great four-poster would contaminate her, Cameron gave it a wide berth and went over to the fireplace. ''Jolly easy to have principles when someone else picks up the bill,' said Lizzie. But, infuriatingly, Rupert had appeared outwardly unaffected and had risen to the occasion by winning a show-jumping gold medal de But a second later, as Cameron burst into his office, his thoughts were only for one woman: the Prime Minister.

Both Tracey and Kev have already buggered off upstairs, and good old Grace is singing This Joyful Eastertide . 'Particularly if he's not on a lead. We were disappointed. Rupert was not above urging people to support Venturer on the Tory loudspeaker, or sticking Venturer posters up on the van alongside those urging the public to vote Conservative.

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